The Vegas
Guest List Competition
E-Mail us with the most far-fetched, amusing, surreal, humorous, insulting,
ingratiating, obsequious or improbable reason why we should put you on the
Vegas VIP list for the next Vegas bash in Edinburgh (see events page for dates).
The best three suggestions receive 2 free tickets and winning entries posted
on the site (e-mail us now by clicking here).
| THE BEST EXCUSES & REASONS
FOR A PLACE ON THE GUEST LIST: (In no particular order) |
|
We met at the Hi-Ball. Thats right, The Hi-Ball Lounge, in North Beach. Thats San Francisco baby. In the heart of the re-birth of cool, when crazy cats first shaved off their Seattle grunge, splashed on a fedora, and sipped martinis while groovin to the licks of Indigo Swing and our favorite lady Lavay. When you had to wear a tie just to get into Spencers, and you had to have some hot moves if you wanted to sweat up the dance floor with the cool kittens that hung out there. She didnt say a word to me the first few times I saw her. But shed dance. Oh god would she. Could she. She covered me like the softest down blanket light as a feather, but warm just where I wanted her. Which was swingin the blues in my arms, as the night grew late, the fog rolled in off the Bay, and the tourists headed home for the night.
Ok, so Joliet, Illinois is not Vegas, and 'the Sting' (if anyone reading the players the set-up the hook the tale As for me? In short: * "I danced" is a loose term. More apt may be I moved in
a ridiculously the wire the shut-out the sting the end Stuart Allan It was almost 3am. The bar had stopped serving, the music had stopped. Vicky Davies Vegas is the place to be, Then with all my dollars i'm up to the bar, It's fantastic, it's ace! "THE PLACE WITH THE SWINGIN' DANCE FLOOR"
No. '14' door Home Safe from Vegas Xmas Party? It was the final time that Luscious Lisa and Jonty'The Tommy Gun' Marnoch
were going to stoat back to their luxurious central capital apartment.
They had lived in this lovely (Yet dangerous) city for a while now and
had the time of their lives. If not for the cool cats, Vegas was everything to this pair, the staff were the warmest, (Especially the showgirls, Jonty thought!) they played the best music this side of the Atlantic and the booze ran on forever. Although Lisa & Jonty had been planning a move for sometime, they
didn't realise that it would be this soon. Jonty's whole 'East coast'
operation had failed and the 'Don' wasn't happy with his efforts. They
had taken away his pink caddy, stripped his partner of her diamonds
and So after all is said and done what better way for them to have a send off, than to go to their favourite club, VEGAS. And what an entourage they will have with them, the likes of Rob 'The tickler' Gordon, (stay away if your ticklish), 'Krazy' Kim, 'Rachet' Ross, hell I believe even the international man of mystery himself will be there. Yeh Baby! This couple make Frank and Nancy look like Rosie and Jim, so go on, make this Saturday 29th June 2002 a night for them to remember for luscious Lisa and Jonty'The Tommy Gun' Marnoch cause I'm sure its a night VEGAS won't Forget. I look forward to seeing you there...
For a night, I was a god ! With preparations for Vegas at Ocean Terminal, my friends and I purchased various outfits in an effort to out show the rest of the cast at Vegas. Sitting in the pub wearing my Elvis wig, glasses and medallion, which I had purchased only minutes before, I announced to my drinking colleges that I couldn't wait for the following week to go out dressed as the king and that Vegas at Ego that evening was on the cards. It was agreed and we had a plan. Various emotions were going through my head prior to the event, could I live up to the Kings standards ?, will I be able to show enough respect to the legend ?, will I be accepted at Vegas ?. Little did I realise that I had nothing to worry about. As soon as the wig and glasses went on I could feel Elvis' spirit rushing through my soul, his energy racing through my veins and could almost hear the 'great man' talking to me.Arriving at Vegas was the same feeling of arriving home with your family waiting for you with open arms. A tremendous reception from girls, guys and gangsters. The night kicked off with extraordinary amount of dancing and lots of serious pointing on top of one the podiums and straight away one of my concerns was answered as Dino announced that Elvis was in the building. The night continued with lots of attention and photos being taken. But not more so than about half way through the night. A couple of very sexy ladies joined me on what was becoming the 'Elvis' podium, both wearing very big blond wigs and dressed like stunning Vegas queens. One holding on to my waste from behind the other in front so close you couldn't get a credit card between us, grinding away to none other than the King's 'Burning Love'. At this point I thanked Elvis for being Elvis and I knew there was a god, and that god is the King of Rock & Roll. Thank you King and thank you Vegas. J. An 'ode' to coming home for Vegas extravaganza !***** Gillian Fear & Loathing in South Edinburgh We were somewhere around Marchmont on the edge of the Meadows when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and divimg around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?" It was almost noon, and we still had more than a hundred miles to go. They would be tough miles. But there was no going back, and no time to rest. We would have to ride it out. Guest list registration for the fabulous Vegas was already underway. This was Bugsy Seagull's turf. Frankie Sumatra's. Dino Martini's. A high-class refuge for the Big Spenders. Just one hour ago we were sitting in Newington, stone broke and paralysed for the weekend, when a call comes from some total stranger in Glasgow, telling me to go to Vegas and expenses be damned - and then sends me over to some office in Bruntsfield where another total stranger gives me £11.47 raw cash for no reason at all...I tell you this is the American Dream in action. We'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way to the end. I mean, how would Horatio Alger handle this situation? Raoul Duke & Dr Gonzo THE ART OF SOPHIE STREE "She had style, that¹s for damn sure. We ain¹t talking the kinda style you buy with no fancy label, neither. No sir! In this big ol¹ poker game of life she was the whole five aces S and even Moose Moran wouldn¹t call her for cheatin¹ - not even if he was down to his last five G¹s. But that was the problem, see? Take a look around, buddy. The world ain¹t got no class no more. So whaddaya do if you¹re the last fancy cream eclair in a box full o¹ Twinkies? A dame like her needed a place that was big enough to swing like a cat and not afraid o¹ the claws. That¹s why she had to be at the best party in town come November 16. Should she be on the guest list for Vegas? Sheesh! If Frank ruled the world, (and who¹s sayin¹ he don¹t?), she¹d never have to ask. What¹s the alternative? You gonna let yourself get played like
second fiddle at the saps convention by some other glass diamond that¹s
all sparkle and no shine? Or you gonna let a genu-ine 32 carat rock
have her day? Let¹s face it S. some people shoot dice for high stakes and get the winnings they deserve. Other guys just play crap. It¹s your call, sport." See ya Oround. Love The Glasgow air was thick with the unfamiliar, musty smell of stale,
regurgitated buckfast and haggis suppers. It was hot. Clammy. The pair
felt as alien to this place as salt and sauce. As Allan "Mister" Whyte
and his voluptuous broad darted through the shadows towards the safe
haven that was the Barrowlands, they would not yet allow themselves
to surrender to the excitement that burned within them like cheap iron
brew; not until they were basking in the glow of the bright lights which
marked the entrance to their new world would they relax. It would not
be long before they were free, free to swing and jive and dance like
the crazy mad fools they were; no longer on the run from hard house
and cheesy disco but revelling in the musical ecstasy that is the hip
sound of Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. They had come a long way for this; travelled
from coast to coast to experience the thrill they knew they deserved.
It was this thought which pressed them on. Allan - a man on the very
edge of cool, attired in trilby and pinstripes, held on tight to his
broad, she resplendent in an altogether wowing ensemble of red and black.
He held on tight, for you never knew what musical evil was lurking in
the west coast darkness. "Hey Daddy-O, I'm tired. My feet feel like
i've just done a Madison marathon. Can't we just rest here a while?"
"It isn't safe honey. Just a few more steps, we're nearly there". But
just then, the heroes saw and heard simultaneously, the bright lights
leading the way and the trumpet calling them home. In one crazy moment
they forgot the danger, and all that mattered to them was the music,
the dancing, the vibe. Emerging from the shadows and fleeing towards
their music mecca like 2 neds getting caught dealing jellies, their
sense of carefree wild abandon was overpowering. Alas though, their
joy was short-lived. A mere step away from the door, and the heavy air
was suddenly filled with a gut-wrenching BANG. "It's me! It's me" cried
Allan. "It's all over now honey. I'm never going to make it. The broad
rushed to his side, and caught hold of him just as he hit the deck like
spit from a towerblock. "I'm never going to get to see the Daddy now.
All my life I've been waiting, but how can I ever show my face in there
with burst braces?" He held up the limp pieces of leather and elastic
as the final nail in the coffin of his pride. Wiping away a small but
not illegitimate tear, Allan pulled himself up and began the long walk
back to the bus station, his braces trailing in the pavement vomit but
with his ever-faithful broad by his side. "Don't worry sweetie, there's
always Vegas in Edinburgh". "But how in the heck are we ever going to
afford tickets though? New braces are going to set me back a month's
wages....." Dear Vegas, It all started with cocktails in the downstairs bar. There she was checking out wrinkles and laughter lines. There I was, just off the dance floor and sweating like a Child Support Agency officer in a Wester Hailes multi-storey. I thought comparing wrinkles was a little lame but it seemed to work and we were soon on the floor where "snakehips" got to show off some unashemedly silky moves. I could tell she was impressed, the saliva gave it away, but by the time we got to the bar it was closed. God, how time flies when your at Vegas. Anyway, I suggested we head for the real casino at the West End for more drinks and she agreed. Unfortunately the casino calls last orders at the back of three and it was twenty past. Time for a last ditch attempt and convince her that there was vodka and a red bull waiting for her back at my place...it worked! One of those nights where nothing goes wrong. That was, until she was getting jiggy with Mr.Biggy and I noticed the engagement ring on her finger!! Nightmare, and she only lives a mile away with her husband to be who apparently makes Arnie look like Mr.Muscle!! By the time she left at 8am to go to her sisters (my cunning plan) I locked up. You know the usual, key, bolt, chest of drawers in front of the door, and headed back to bed. So...to cut a long story short, this is why I need tickets for the VIP list...if Arnie arrives with his bride to be, I'm gonna be wearing concrete shoes faster than you can say it wisnae me!! Snakehips Little John Well we're the Queens of the Swingers Real Vegas VIPs With sequins and pearls We get the boys in a whirl We know you won't disagree. Sure, we can jazz it up good style From Marilyn we did descend We have panache, we have class With a double dose of sass And Dean was our Daddy's best friend. Say ooooooooooh! Yeah, boop boop be do! We want to come to Vegas to swing and jive till 2. Say woweeeeee! How cool can 2 girls be? We'll show you if you let us in for free.......... ;) Love Sarah the Siren and Vikki the Vixen xx Sarah Walker "With spurs and chaps and wrangler jeans A single cent and a mustang mare My head was reeling with my dreams Of where I'd go to win some beer. I wandered thru the Texan plains To find my way to Vegas But it ended up in vain(s) Because my hoss had nae-gas I flew on home to the smoky hews and how i had the cowgirl blues My cent was spent and all that's here is one young lass with-a-thirst for beer" But YO! the story can unfold She's found a place that gives out gold (en beer) If only she could get there free She'd gamble,dance and sing with glee She'd yodle, whoop and shout yeehah! She'd swing her chaps and prop the bar You'd know her by her beaming face, her tilted hat and holstered waist. A worthy cause, I'm sure u'd say So go make sure she doesn't pay Her dreams of Vegas can come true And, buddy-friends, it's down to you..... end of epic plea. Contributed by Ruth Martin I have to a confess a fetish. I love my chaps. ( You know those leather bum less horsy trousers) Some would consider the intensity of my feelings rather unhealthy. But there is a bond between us that goes back many years. At the risk of sounding slightly unhinged, I know they return my feelings. The way those beautiful, soft, brown babies fit so snuggly and tightly round my thighs....mmhhhhhh I know I can't be imagining it. Lately, I know they've been feeling neglected. Frankie, its not that my love has faded its just that i don't seem to have the time to spend with them anymore. I tried to wear them to the office, to make them part of my life once more. But to my horror security wouldn't let me through the door... Frankie, I just can't live without my chap's love. Yesterday, (sob, sob) I came home earlier than usual to find them in the airing cupboard with my jodhpur boots. Oh, course they denied everything but I know, I KNOW, there was something going on. Only you can save our love, Frankie help me! My chaps have travelled round the world with me but they have never been to vegas ... When I saw that Vegas, was to be Wild Wild West themed I knew our love could be saved. What else could get our relationship back on track better than a night of funky tunes and fun, fab company. I know if I wear my chaps to Vegas , they'll realise just how dull the jodhpur boots are. How could boots provide such an evening of fun frolics? Please Frankie, if you believe in love, help me, help me please...put me on the guest list... Contributed by Fiona Clark "You should put me on the VIP guest list for VEGAS because I was such a huge influence on the success of the last one. If I was not at the black jack table winning drinks for the many ladies around me, I was upstairs dancing on a table making a complete tit of myself. From the moment I blagged a discount on the premise that I was a "blues brother" (even though I didnt have a tie, hat or dark sunglasses) to the return of my lost mobile phone at the end of the night to the moment of madness when I rapped ice ice baby with a human beatbox in the mens toilets I had a fantastic time, and met some of the friendliest night club staff around." Contributed by David Brazewell Dear darlings, Why I should be on your guest list? Because I'm a six-foot chocolate satin kitten, a six-inch heel goddess, a six-Martini Ms. with a serious thing for those tunes you play; because I'm more mink than polyester, more midnight than midday, more four-scoop strawberry sundae with whipped cream and hot fudge sauce than SlimFast; because I only live when I dance, only scratch when I'm teased, only wear two things in bed; because I'm GOOD FOR YOU. Because I can chew gum and merengue at the same time but never would. Because Because I've got a heart-shaped birth-mark somewhere you'll never see it unless you are VERY good, because I mix a mean Between The Sheets, because I LUURVE flirting. That's why. Mwah Mwah sweeties, look out for me tomorrow! Contributed by miss va-va-va voom The reason I should get 2 free tickets is that I'm a direct descendant of Bugsy Siegel, the founding father of Las Vegas. My grandmother was a Native American who used to "do for" Mr Siegel. Contributed by Shirley-Ann Tulloch "Hey there all you funkin' groovers That's FUNKIN' groovers...and goovular movers there's a birthday girl bringing a fabulous few over to get glitzy for a cocktail or twoooooooo.... So on with the sparkle and the jazz and all that, down to where its happenin' with my cowgirl hat I'll be celebratin' with Dolly, Neil and Tom Watch out coz we'll be struttin'..... Sex Bomb Sex Bomb!!" "A chick with a taste for Debauchery Waiting around reminds me of better things ahead An amalgamation of lust not occurring in bed. Sex up a tree, in the toilet, better in a tent Gallons of sexual effluvia my body is screaming out to vent. You can help me here because I'm dying to cum Wanting to wear some skin-tight belt-dress, accentuating my bum. Vegas in the Spiegel-tent, Vegas on the Loveboat Vegas gushing everywhere, here's hoping she wrote. So I'll shake for you baby, Driving you crazy Treat me like a lady As my evening gets hazy. Ahoy there me hearties! But what does this email themed around the wonderous LoveBoat TV show have to do with getting on the VIP list for this Saturday's Vegas, I hear you ask? Well, I thought that : a) This is a unique way of attracting your attention rather than some of the other poor email attempts you receive, from people who make excuses around gambling etc (not like you've heard them a MILLION times) b) As the LoveBoat night will be manned by the Vegas crew, it must be a TIP TOP evening out and therefore entitled to as much promotion as possible! c) Who could miss the chance to discuss cruising, big chimneys and seamen in the same sentence? (hee hee) Fingers crossed Frankie, that you and the Vegas pack will once again reward me for my numerous hours of research over the Internet in finding you interesting and Top Tips............ Here's hoping! Fingers crossed! -------- Christine -------- Every week, "The Love Boat" sailed away with new passengers and new problems. We laughed at the crew, but we knew them all. We knew the music, the lyrics, the opening and closing credits. Yes, we were The Love Boat. Each crew member was always ready to fall in love each week (again), and usually scheming to try to get something over on the "stern" (No pun intended) Certainly, one of the most unusual guests on The Love Boat was Andy Warhol. He played himself (not a difficult job) on the 200th episode (10/12/1985) and displayed just the worst acting seen on network television since William Shatner did anything! -------- -------- -------- Love Boat Theme by P. Williams, C. Fox as performed by Jack Jones (1977 - 1985) and Dionne Warwick (1985 - 1986) Love, exciting and new Come Aboard. We're expecting you. Love, life's sweetest reward. Let it flow, it floats back to you. The Love Boat soon will be making another run The Love Boat promises something for everyone Set a course for adventure, Your mind on a new romance. Love won't hurt anymore It's an open smile on a friendly shore. Yes LOVE! It's LOVE! Love Boat soon will be making another run The Love Boat promises something for everyone Set a course for adventure, Your mind on a new romance. Love won't hurt anymore It's an open smile on a friendly shore. It's LOVE! It's LOVE! It's LOVE! It's the Love Boat-ah! It's the Love Boat-ah!
-------- -------- -------- "Signs You're on a Bad Cruise" 10: Brochure boasts that ship was subject of a "60 minutes" expose 9: You see the chef trying to knock pelicans out of the sky with the frisbee 8: Captain refuses to make a move without first consulting Tenille 7: The late Don Ameche keeps turning up in the swimming pool 6: Kathie Lee never stops throwing up 5: Captain has a dead albatross hanging from his neck 4: It's the Scott O'Grady theme cruise, and all they serve you is bugs and rainwater 3: You keep walking in on Gavin Macleod having sex in your cabin 2: Instead of the Lido Deck, they've got the Ito Deck 1: Vessel's name: The S.S. Scurvy -------- -------- -------- Plots from the Love Boat El Kid / The Last Hundred Bucks / Isosceles Triangle SYNOPSIS: Captain Stubing and Doc fight it out over a gorgeous girl; a couple adopting a child in Mexico gets a seven-year-old streetwise orphan instead of the infant they expected; an unemployed executive mixes business with pleasure when he falls in love with a successful businessman. STARS: Gavin Macleod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Lauren Tewes GUEST STARS: Dabney Coleman, Dena Dietrich, Dave Madden, Rue McClanahan, Gabriel Melgar, heather Menzies, Connie Stevens, Robert Urich
Quiet, My Wife's Listening (aka Bugged) / Eye of the Beholder / The Nudist from Sunshine Gardens (aka The Lady from Sunshine Gardens) SYNOPSIS: A nudist gets help from an attorney when she wants to bare it all on board; an embittered woman thwarts the advances of a fellow passenger; an overly-suspicious man has a surprise in store when he meets a beautiful woman who is not who she seems to be. STARS: Gavin Macleod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Lauren Tewes, Jill Whelan GUEST STARS: Barbi Benton, Peter Haskell, Leslie Uggams, David Hedison, Dick Martin, Mary Ann Mobley
That Old Gang of Mine / Love with a Skinny Stranger / Vicki and the Gambler SYNOPSIS: Captain Stubing becomes concerned about his daughter when his gambler friend has her caught up in the excitement of winning at gambling; a formerly fat man's fat girlfriend is jealous of his new thin physique; three members of an old-time gang hilariously try to rob the ship's vault. STARS: Gavin Macleod, Bernie Kopell, Fred Grandy, Ted Lange, Lauren Tewes, Jill Whelan GUEST STARS: Gene Barry, Charles Siebeert, Vicki Lawrence, Kaye Ballard, Jack Gildord, Jesse White -------- -------- -------- According to the research of one of the Love Boat Fans, the following are RETITLED EPISODES (old title ---> new title): $10,000 Lover, The --> For the Record Curse of the Dumbrowskis, The --> The Successor Hounded --> A Dog's Life Isaac's Secret --> Isaac's Teacher Klondike Carnival --> Pride of the Pacific Love With a Married Man --> On Second Thought Not Tonight, Jack! --> Workaholic Nudist from Sunshine Gardens, The --> The Lady from Sunshine Gardens Quiet, My Wife's Listening --> Bugged Seoul Mate --> Foreign Exchange Starmaker, The ---> Isaac and the Mermaids Ladies and gentlemen. I bring you the most serious news. Civilisation as we know it is in danger of imminent collapse. 'M' is dead. Our enemies are among us even as I speak. Prompt action is required. A meeting between like-minded people is necessary to allow us to plan our mission to save the universe from destruction. This mission has been code named 'Vegas'. I have checked your current locations and the most suitable rendezvous point for us all to congregate will be in Edinburgh at the ABC Cinema on the night of Saturday 19 June at exactly 2230 hours. Black tie is the obligatory attire. However, the only foreseeable hitch in this plan concerns you, Agent X, since you also require a meeting with the Man (aka Frankie Sumatra). You will need to use a new identity/code name at the door of this establishment to allow the agents of the door to recognise you since your last transformation. I will arrange - via this email - for the Man's bodyguards on the door to ask you for both identification (use your false email address) and your code name - for Mission Vegas this will be 'Christine Carr'. On mention of both this name and email address, you (and your token accomplice) will be admitted to the Inner Sanctum where you will be allowed to meet the Man in person. Beware as you may be in danger - good luck Agent X. To the remainder of you, I hope our imminent discussion will be condusive to our victory over our evil enemies. This email will selfdestruct in 20 seconds. Trivia from Casino Royale (1967) # Cameos by Frank Sinatra, Sophia Loren, and Barbra
Streisand were planned. Memorable Quotes from Casino Royale (1967) Sir James: It's depressing that the words "secret agent" have become synonymous with "sex maniac." Sir James: The whole world believes that you were eaten by a shark, Miss Lynd. Vesper Lynd: That was no shark. That was my personal submarine. But enough of this polite conversation. What is the purpose of your visit? [In a building that is about to explode.] Cooper: What's the strategy, sir? Bond: Get out of the bloody place before it blows up! Frau Hoffner: Hmmm, it is little Otto. He was one of your mother's lovers. We often find him lying around. Mata Bond: Is he dead? Frau Hoffner: Hard to tell. He always looked like that. Jimmy Bond: You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time. [In front of No. 10 Downing Street] Mata Bond: I bet Mummy would've taken me in! Sir James: Mummy took everyone in. [Upon seeing Mata Hari's bedroom] Mata Bond: Hey, what an enormous bed! Polo: The German army was very large in those days. Sir James: I remember your chap Lenin very well. First class organizer. Second class mind. Hey, how else are you going to get a singing vicar to attend? p.s. that's all for now Vegas - have a nice day Greetings Vegas beings........ It has taken me 35,000,000 light years to reach your planet from the Fruchian galaxy in search of refreshments and Bert Bacharach music. I heard about your extravaganza from Beezlefug at the Galactic RingDing (the being in the know) who recommended your club from his last visit to Earth. He tells me that it will cost me 10 British pounds to enter this occasion. However, I have only brought 1,000,000 Drogmas with me as currency and have just discovered that this is only acceptable on the planet Earthworm (foolish Beezlefug and his partial information) so am unable to purchase tickets for myself and my many sparkly companions to attend this event. We understand we must all be appropriately attired in costumes from your 1950-1970's and have kitted ourselves out accordingly - we have modelled ourselves on TV images we have received on something called 'sit-coms' from these times. I understand you play the splendid 'CopaCabana' which we also model ourselves on. I am happy to pay in Drogmas if you will accept them, but would like to ask if you can you help me obtain entry to your club another way? I believe there is a VIP list where our names are the only currency required? If you could help me and at least one of my beings to enter your establishment, I would be grateful to the end of my life (which is due to complete at 1434 on September 15 2014 Earth time) Pleasures to you and your Vegas following Christine (of the planet Indigo) To my dearest Frankie Sumatra, I must confess that I am a recent convert to the Vegas services. Not that I am a heathen and go elsewhere, it's just I'm a single mum and don't get out much due to my financial situation. Bore, bore bore - this is not my entry, I'm just giving you a bit of background. You're probably getting some really outrageous entries that are totally made up but in general, my policy is why tell a lie when the truth is more scandalous. I am of course referring to your last service, Saturday 24th April. It was my 23rd birthday on the 25th so was allowed out for the night with a group of friends. We were dressed in authentic 70s gear and had consumed a fair amount of the holy water before our arrival. I became aware of how merry I was feeling while standing in the queue waiting to enter this new place of worship. Kevin Thomas (ex-Hearts player) was in the queue in front of us sporting a tasteful Elvis wig. I announced to my friends that we shouldn't talk to him as he was a 'complete and utter arse' at the top of my voice. As he was standing right next to me he heard. Fortunately he was in a good mood and did not try to batter me. Instead we chatted for a while about how we have the same birthday - narrow escape. The second memorable event was that I was getting rather close to a young man who was in my company. Good for her, she pulled, you may be thinking but there is a slight complication. The groovy young man who was holding me in his strong arms was my cousin. Not a second cousin but my first cousin. He's from sheep shagging land and we don't really know each other that well, or we didn't before that night. We got a healthy reprimanding from my friends about the incestuous nature of this relationship but we were 'hot' and couldn't care less what the rest of the world thought. Shortly afterwards a very good male friend of mine disappeared. His reasoning for abandoning the evening was not apparent until the following day. It turned out he has 'fallen in love with me' (heavy words) and flipped when he saw what was happening. I felt so guilty for hurting my friend. So why should you give me a free ticket? The main reason is that the last Vegas for me was a wonderful experience at the time but now that I'm sober, it has turned into a mortifying memory. I want to remember Vegas for the fab club that it is, not as one of the most eventful nights of my life. The other reason of course is that I'm part of the hen night, I believe Nicola Cook has told you about it and as I'm skint it would help me out greatly. You really want us there as we are gorgeous divas in our gear. Pretty please with a cherry on top. Yours hopefully Name witheld by Vegas for the sake of decency (Just for reference - I'm the 6ft one that looks like a model) |
 |